25 Random Judytoids

Coach Iyabo, Authentic Change Coach tagged me today on Twitter. I get to tell you 25 random things about myself, and tag 25 others to do the same.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, ideally, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged, including me.

Only play if it’s fun for you and you want to. That’s Iyabo’s and my real official rule.

25 Random Judytoids

1. I was born, in Tucson, via cesarean birth; my mom was 42 at the time.
2. I wanted to be a professional racquetball player when I was 18
3. I have a soft spot for the accordion, and the cello.
4. If I could play any position on a baseball team, it would be center field.
5. If I could have any job at a baseball stadium-hmmm, either the organist, or the person who decides what songs get played for the players as they come up to bat.
6. My middle name is Arden, which was my dad’s middle name.
7. My True Best Best Friend (TBBF), Linda, named her daughter after me.
8. I’m an adult child of a golfer.
9. My cats names are Ace and FreeDaCat (freeda for short)
10. My favorite Al Green song is “Since I met Judy” (um, of course!)
11. I want to learn how to surf and rock climb.
12. My mom’s name is Rubye, she’s 91. She added the “e” to her name sometime in her 20’s.
13. My fave job, before becoming a coach, was working at the South Phoenix Youth Center.
14. I met Stevie Wonder when he came to visit the center after Arizona finally passed MLK holiday.
15. I came out for my 35th birthday. . .technically, I’m about to turn 14.
16. I love making collages-Soul Collages, specifically.
17. If I didn’t live in Tucson, I’d live in the Bay Area.
18. If I was ever tempted to sell my soul, it would be to have a fabulous singing voice.
19. I LOVE being a coach, and an entrepreneur!
20. I love bubble baths with waaaay tooo many bubbles!
21. I want to create a ring tone of me laughing.
22. I have a fairly well developed inner Diva-though you have to know me a bit to know this.
23. I’m a baking school drop out, ‘05. I excelled at artisan bread, and chocolate.
24. If you came to my house for a party, you should expect fabulous conversation, music, and food.
25. I get crushes easily, and that’s just fine with me.

There you go! You can post your comments here, on Twit Wall, Facebook, or on your website.

with love,

Judy

The Quandary with Goals

Ok, two weeks into the new year. Have you met your goals for this year, yet? Ha! of course I’m just teasing.

Was it just me, or did you wade through a new year goal frenzy too?

First, I found myself repelled by the “be all you can be” type new year goal promotions. Last week, I even told myself that I was NOT going NEAR the gym until next month or later! Sure, I’m laughing now, but I was struck by the depth of my reaction to these type of goals.

Then a slew of messages, expressing the idea that “I’m already fabulous,” grabbed my attention. THAT perspective felt great! In contrast to the other message, I got excited about my life, and was ready to dive into my amazing relationships, and work.

Whew! I know which approach I’m using! Here’s why a feel good approach to goals is effective.

We’re evolving creatures-always have been, and always will be. You evolve whether you’re sitting on the couch day dreaming or running your 10th marathon! There’s just no escaping your personal evolution. From this perspective, our attraction to personal improvement, goals, and New Year resolutions make sense, because they tap into our innate desire to expand.

Consider that your goals reflect what your soul already knows is true about you. On some level, you know that you’re ALREADY that savvy business woman , or the mom, lovingly in the middle of her family, or that 145 lb strong and sexy woman. Yes, that is exactly who you are!

And yet, your mind needs to catch up to what our soul understands for your true self to emerge. Until then, you might believe that you need to have, do, or think the right thing to be who you want to be.

Can you see that the quandary that setting goals creates? How do you become who you already are? No wonder new year resolutions are so easy to break, they’re unnecessary!

Think about it. How much energy do you expend trying to be the person who you already are?

Yes, of course there is an easier and much more enjoyable way to make room for your true nature to emerge.

Here are two suggestions.
Michael Neill suggests that you take at least a week off from working on yourself in any way. Don’t try to change, improve, or fix yourself - just e njoy hanging out with your work, your hobbies and your loved ones.

Try this exercise. Let me know what you noticed? What brought you joy?

Here’s a second approach.
Look at your goals, or things you want to accomplish this year, and ask yourself:
“How would I live my life if this goal was already met?”

I imagine that there are some beliefs, and actions within your description that you can incorporate in your life right away, yes? Let yourself step into being the person your goals represent. You’re ready, and your goals reflect this.

You’ll create a momentum that the universe will gladly match. Now THAT’S a sweet spot!

Most of all, enjoy, my friend, enjoy!

2009? It’s Even Better the Second Time!

I want to suggest that you try time travel as a fabulous substitute for New Year’s resolutions. No need for secret decoder rings or a Star Trek transporter, all you need is a few minutes and your imagination!

Besides, time travel is really a misnomer since quantum physicists have demonstrated how the past, present, and future are simultaneously occurring. Thankfully, you don’t need to understand any of this to tap into it’s power to create the life you desire.

Here’s all the science you really need to know: EVERYTHING is energy, and the Universe interprets all energy, whether conjured up in your memory, your imagination or experience, the same. Energy constantly, and magnetically, attracts similar energy.

Want a breakthrough 2009? Conjure up the energy that goes with your dreams.

I don’t know about you, but the idea of toying with time keeps my energy light, easy and adventurous. Which is in striking contrast to how my body tightens at the mere THOUGHT of coming up with a traditional list of New Year’s resolutions!

I LOVE it when life is this obvious!

A Time Traveler’s Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions

Set aside at least 30 minutes, and consider recording or writing down your responses to this exercise.

Step 1
Let your mind travel through time, one year into the future. Imagine being at a New Year’s Eve dinner with friends, where you’re all celebrating and chatting about this past year, 2009.
Begin by imagining a few details. Where are you? Who is at the table with you? What are you wearing? Consider embellishing the scene with scents, sounds, colors, and how your body feels.

Step 2
Again, it is the energy that you’re really going for here, let yourself really BE how you’d like to imagine yourself being a year from now.

Then, imagine answering your various friends’ questions (feel free to answer any/all):

• What are your highlights from this past year?
• What are you most thankful for?
• What’s your proudest accomplishment? What are some key moments that contributed to this achievement?
• What surprised you the most?
• How did love (or courage, vision, fun) play a role in creating this year?
• What excites you about 2010?

Step 3
When you feel satisfied, send out a HUGE thanks to the Universe for creating this fabulous, beyond your dreams, year with you!

Stash your recording or writing in a place where you can review it as 2009 transitions into 2010.

Step 4
Enjoy! Relax! Have a blast!
Each moment, and each day of 2009 is bringing your dreams to fruition!

PS: Join me, and up to 9 other LBQ women who are creating an inspired 2009 together! http://tinyurl.com/5jq3ex

Networking Happiness

This past week I’ve found myself thinking and playing around with how energy spreads.

For example, I’ve developed this new practice of blowing kisses into the air, as if they are bubbles, and telling the universe to carry them to others who would enjoy them. I’ve been kissing my work related emails before I send them.

I’ve noticed how I feel so much more energized when after helping a client lift their vibe. AND, then, this morning, after thanking a client for spreading joy and happiness in the world, just by being her joyous, happy self, I ran across some new happiness research on Twitter.

Yep, ubetcha, more happiness research!
Can I confess how much I love research that supports:

• happiness as a revolutionary act.
• my ongoing suggestions to surround yourself with others who support your happiness.
• online, and in person social networks-not to mention group fun like Hot Flash Dances!
• basic, common sense.

The British Medical Journal released a study by two researchers from Harvard and University of California, San Diego. Find the article HERE.

I especially appreciate these conclusions:

• People who are in closer, more frequent contact with each other are more susceptible to catching each other’s moods.
• In a social network, one person’s merriment can ripple out and cause happiness in people up to three degrees away. Yes! When you feel happy, a friend of a friend of a friend has a slightly higher likelihood of feeling happy too.
• In other words, your happiness is chiefly a collective affair.

OF COURSE!!!

Here are a few takeaway thoughts that relate to your life.

• Nurturing your own happiness is one of THE most influential things you can do to improve your home, friends and the world. Go ahead, make decisions and take action that bring you happiness!
• Look at your social networks, both in person and online. Are you surrounding yourself with positive minded people? Are you contributing to the merriment of your “peeps”-at home, work, online?
• Doing things with others, whether online, or in person, that increases your feel good mood is always good for your soul!

AND, as always, I’d LOVE to deepen our connection! Please join my networks! Let’s chat here, on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin!

Mainstream perspectives on the BMJ article.

• CNN.com/health
• Time Health & Science
• ChicagoTribune.com

Fantastic Four Meme

Jeannete, The Good Vibe Coach, tagged me for this fun “four theme” meme. I’m tagging a handful of other bloggers, but would love to hear your responses, too (either in comments or a link to your own blog post): How to play the Fantastic Four Meme:

1. Copy/paste the questions into your blog.
2. Type in your answers.
3. Tag four people on your list
4. Don’t forget to change the answers to your own!

Okay, here goes:

Four Places I Go Over and Over:

• Weekly family night game of canasta @ my mom’s
• Bentley’s House of Tea & Coffee-my standard Tucson meeting spot
• Grimaldi’s and Pico de Gallo restaurants mentioned below!
• Mt.Tumamoc Favorite kick ass walk

Four People Who Email Me Regularly:

• Pauline Miriam, Creator of Hot Flash Dances
• Sean Elder, Firelight Coach
• Deb Brown
• Karen Olsen

Four Places I Like To Eat:

• Pico de Gallo, Tucson
• Grimaldi’s, Tucson
• The Farm at South Mountain, Phoenix
• Crush, Seattle
• Jack’s Fish Spot, Seattle,

Four Places I’d Rather Be Right Now:

• My old beach house w/ my best pal Linda, and her family
• relaxing in view of any beach
• Seattle (I’m missing fall, wet weather and old friends)
• A warm, cozy cabin with my sweetie during a snowy day in the Berkshires

Four TV Shows I Could Watch Over and Over:

• Rachel Maddow Show
• Dancing with the Stars (yup! now, you know!)
• Boston Legal
• Columbo ( I love Peter Falk, what can I say?)

Four People I think Will Respond with Link Love:

• Tammy Wooliver
• Nikki, AKA BookGnome
• Debora Smail
• Deb Brown
  

If you think this is great fun (it really is … plus creating blog links is great blogging karma), then tag this and pass it on. Don’t forget to tag back to Let’s Flourish Blog!

A Lesbian Twitterverse

Earlier today, I ran across an invitation to develop a list of the Top 10 People to Follow on Twitter. I decided it would be fun to develop a Top 10 Tweeting Lesbians to Follow and asked my pal @lezzymom to join in the fun.

We want to thank the many visible and active lesbians expanding our sense community via Twitter! In particular, we both love the conversation and information these 10 women inspire.

This is our list.

@Maddow
@SistersTalk
@leapingwoman
@lezgetreal
@CStars4U
@Pam_Spaulding
@GR8FL
@RobinJP
@loveurmindnsoul
@thelesbianmafia

Who’s following the rules? Here are other women we love!
@onemorelesbian
@tllblog
@lesbiandotpro
@fiestycharlie
@mombian
@butwait
@designdyke

Thanks again, we’d love to know who your list includes. See our list and the others at twitip.com.

Why Twitter? I love Twitter’s ability to connect a wide range of amazing people who have similar interests. I engage with an ever expanding and inspiring group of people who are creating life on their terms-lesbians, law of attraction believers, artists, and entrepreneurs. Join me at www.twitter.com/flourishingjudy.

It’s Easier to Have What You Want

“It’s easier to have what you want, than what you think you can get.” Michael Neill

Do you ever wonder if your desires are unrealistic? Do you reduce your standards as your body shows its age, your stocks drop, or when true love seems elusive? I know I occasionally forget that I get to have exactly what I want. Michael’s statement above has become my personalized pot of gold lately, inspiring me as I move through my day. Of course I want to share it with you!

Why is it is easier to have exactly what you want than what you think you can get? As you know, the universe matches the energy contained within your beliefs and sends you what you’re expecting to receive. When you focus on what you really want you’ll naturally send out pure energy that is in concert with your true self. Your energy becomes expansive whether you choose to move toward your heart’s desire one step at a time, or in leaps and bounds.

I know you’ve experienced this in your life. You’ve gotten the job, salary, entrance into the school, and/or the date you really wanted. You’ve tapped into the inner knowing and easy flow that comes when you’re aligned with your desires. This is the energy of pure desire.

Conversely, you drag fear with you on your quest when you settle for what you think you can get. Your fear becomes a dominant part of what you’re attracting. You’ve experienced this too when your “just in case” approach to work, love, and or health becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, yes?

Let’s highlight the energetic contrast of these two approaches to life. Take a few minutes with each scenario below, notice what your energy and body feel like.

Begin by thinking about something that you really want. Imagine yourself having it.

Now, suggest to yourself that you’re being unrealistic, and adjust your desires accordingly.

What’s your level of enthusiasm with each choice? What’s your body’s response to each option?

Which energy do you want to be sending out to the universe?

How would your life be different if you approached life with this energy?

I’ve found that the easiest way for me to normalize this approach in my life is by simply repeating this phrase throughout the day:

“It is easier for me to have what I want, than what I think I can get” “What do I want?”

I find my life naturally and effortlessly adjusts toward what I really want. It’s amazing! Try it and let me know how your life evolves!

The Answer to Everything

What if I told you that the answer to ANY of life’s inquiries was found within your reply to the question, “What do I want”?

Yes, I’m suggesting that your desires are the ultimate guide to life - any time, and in any situation. Does this seem radical? Were you taught, like I often was, to think about what others want, what you should want, or that wanting itself, was bad? With so many conflicting messages directed at us, it’s easy to understand why identifying what you really want can feel allusive. Are you curious about how following your desires works in real life?

Here’s how desire and the Law of Attraction work. Your desires are the ultimate guide to your life because, as you follow your unique wants, you allow your true self to fully emerge. AND, contrary to what is commonly taught, you become more generous and loving as you live the life you want to live.

Look, don’t just take my word for it, here’s what a few other experts have to say.

If we were standing in your shoes, that would be our dominant quest: Entertaining Yourself, pleasing Yourself, connecting with Yourself, being Yourself, enjoying Yourself, loving Yourself. Some say, “Well, Abraham you teach selfishness. And we say, yes we do,. . .because unless you are selfish enough to reach for that connection, you don’t have anything to give anyone, anyway. And when you are selfish enough to make that connection — you have an enormous gift that you give everywhere you are.
Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX, April 21st, 2001

Our dreams carry with them the energy for their achievement;
our fears carry with them the energy of our defeat
Michael Neill Genius Catalyst Inc

My friend, there is no reason to be shy or bashful here! Consider the idea that you’re doing “the right thing” when you clarify and act on what you want. This is what having fidelity to your soul is all about.

How would your life shift if you lived according to what you want- as if it couldn’t be any other way?

How would your relationships shift if you were faithful to your own ever expanding self, and welcomed your love’s fidelity to their soul?

Yes, there are layers and nuances to wanting. For example, I may wish I had a body like Martina Navratilova. Underneath that desire though, I may want women to think I’m hot. And, I may really want women to think I’m hot because I want to be loved.

So, if being loved is my core desire, then I don’t really need a body like Martina’s. I become free to nourish feeling loved (and hot) in the body I have. I can work out or not as THAT feels good to me! BUT, can you appreciate that it was my desire for a body like Martina’s that got me to this level of understanding in the first place?

What do you want? What do you want right now, next month, and 5 years from now?

Life Beyond Breaks, Shakes and Quakes

Or, What’s a Girl to do in Days Like These?

Lately, I’ve been writing about thriving after a break up, feeling the economy shift, and thinking about earthquakes. Of course, I’m thrilled to share a perspective on upheaval that can support and inspire you to continue deliberately creating the life you desire.

From a law of attraction perspective, you are always creating your experience through the energy your thoughts exude. In other words, your external life experience is a reflection of your internal thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This creation process is always occurring, and applies to individuals, our country, and our world.

Additionally, there is constant dynamic exchange between your thoughts and your experiences. Sometimes the dissonance between the life you’ve created and who you’ve become results in an energy build up. A significant shift must occur to realign your life. Thus, break ups, earthquakes, and economic shake ups happen in response to a powerful quest for a new equilibrium.

The releasing of built up energy also creates a prime time to assert what is important to you. Isn’t it easy to notice and express “HEY, I don’t want this, I want ______!!!!!” whenever your status quo is disrupted? Your clear desire for stability, opportunity, love, or whatever, summons the universe with power that is potentially equal to how these events are unfolding in your life.

Briefly, here are three steps to inspire you during these wide open times.

1. Believe in, and clarify your desires.
2. Be willing to ride the wave of certainty-yes, you will have what you want, even when you are uncertain how and when you’ll receive your desires. AND
3. Be willing to take inspired action to spin momentum in your direction.

Note: Actually, taking inspired action on a regular basis is a fabulous way to keep your energy flowing smoothly, and preventing pent of energy and emotion.

And, here are six steps to support your inspired action.

1. Tap into what you really want. Ask yourself, “What’s my vision for my life”?
2. Be willing to face your worst fear, AND realize that it is a fear, and has nothing to do with reality.
3. Stay in the present; focusing on the past and/or the future are fuel for your fears. I often use the phrase, “in this moment, all is well” to access relief that is always available in the present moment.
4. Engage your strengths. What do you like about how you’ve dealt with previous moments of upheaval that you can you apply in today’s situation?
5. Take action when you feel clear and relaxed.
6. Most importantly, surround yourself with love, and find time for fun.

Ok, I’m going to keep saying it; these are still the best of days. And, you, my friend are in a perfect spot to conjure the peace, freedom, opportunity, and love that fuel your dreams.

Flourishing with you always,
Judy

PS. Want more? Join other lesbian, bi and queer women in my four week, Thriving After a Break Up tele-class starting Monday, October 6th or contact me about coaching packages.

These are the BEST of times?

Awhile back, I found myself in the middle of a “I think I should be panicking now” moment. I looked at an extremely depleted bank account and was highly skeptical when money was going to start flowing my way. Part of me knew that I was going to be fine; part of me thought a good old fashioned panic would be soothing . . . or responsible, or at least something to do. I also knew that panic wasn’t really going to get me anything more than unwanted stress.

Fortunately, I had a session that afternoon with my coach, Jeannette. After hearing about my predicament, she says “YEAY! This is the BEST part”. Ummm, dear Jeannette, did you hear me?!! As I start to retell my URGENT story, she interrupts me with “Oh my God, Judy, this is the BEST part. Can’t you just feel it?”. I was so stunned I could only listen as she passionately described the deliciousness of not knowing how something will unfold.

She went on a delightful rant about how we routinely go to movies to experience being on the edge of our seat. We love that anticipatory sense that comes with not knowing what’s going to happen. Even when plots are predictable, we still love to see our favorite protagonists in action. We are entertained by the “what’s she going to do NOW?” part of the movie, yes?

What if I adopted an “on the edge of my seat” response to my own life? I looked at my home, family, love, friends, work, city, finances and myself while saying “this is the BEST of times”. Even as I looked directly at what appeared to be imperfections, I came up with a zillion examples to support the idea that I was living in the best of times. My mood shifted immediately. I found my charge, sense of fun, and, curiosity about life. Of course my income stream increased significantly, on cue.

Guess what? You are in is always the best moment of your life.

Especially in what appears to be tender or challenging times, consider the notion that “these are the best of times”. Sure, you might have a host of contrary thoughts fill your mind at first, but, let yourself consider the idea.

THESE are the BEST of times!

Look around. . . .
how would your perspective shift if you adopted this point of view?